No Such Thing as Happy Endings
by Embre Falling
Summary: The lucky one is the one that goes first. The unlucky one is the one that has to wait without her. OneShot.


**Did I post this already...? I can't remember.  
><strong>

**Well, I've gone over to the dark side. This is my first songfic and hopefully my last. If you want to know what a certain song is, just ask.**

**God, I hate songfics. Why is it i love writing them?**_  
><em>

_I let go_

_When I know_

_There's no safety net_

_Below_

_I let go_

_So I'm free _

_To fall…_

* * *

><p>"You're <em>cheating<em> on me?"

I looked up at his face, his pale, guilty face, and was certain of his answer before he even said it.

"Yes—no—Nina, it's not like that—"

But it was.

I sank down in the nearest chair and put my head in my hands, disbelief and shock coursing through me. For some reason the anger I expected didn't come.

_This can't be happening._

"Nina…"

_He _was there, his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, trying to apologize. I shrugged him off and turned away. Didn't he get it?

"Don't touch me."

"Nina…"

"Just—leave me alone. Please."

When I looked up again, he was gone.

* * *

><p><em>And all I can think about<em>

_Is another you_

_Another me_

_Another now_

* * *

><p>The days that followed were rough.<p>

After the 'unveiling', as Amber called it, I avoided him, mostly. He came up a few times to try to apologize again, but there was always someone there to fend him off.

After a while he just stopped trying.

* * *

><p><em>All I want is<em>

_To be okay_

_To be okay_

_To be okay today_

* * *

><p>There were other boys, Amber reminded me. Boys that wouldn't lie or cheat on you or cause you any pain.<p>

She introduced me to some of them.

None of them had the same warm brown eyes of Fabian Rutter, though.

* * *

><p><em>I know it's unpredictable<em>

_But in the end, it's right_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

* * *

><p>And then it was over.<p>

My scholarship ended and I was forced to move back with my Gran, back to my lonely life in America.

I still kept in touch with some of them, like Amber and Patricia and Mara.

I wonder if he missed me when I was gone.

* * *

><p><em>When you're gone<em>

_The pieces of my heart _

_Are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know_

_Is missing too…_

* * *

><p>My Gran died from cancer when I was twenty-seven.<p>

I wonder if he'd care.

* * *

><p><em>To know why<em>

_Hope dies_

* * *

><p>At twenty-eight I received the worst news of my life.<p>

I had the same thing Gran had.

I was going to die.

And the worst part?

I didn't even care.

I had nothing to live for, anyway.

Not anymore.

* * *

><p><em>I fake a smile<em>

_So he won't see_

* * *

><p>The next time Amber calls, babbling about some new shoes she bought last night or whatever, I keep my voice steady.<p>

I don't tell her I have cancer.

I don't tell her the chemo isn't working.

I don't tell her my hair is falling out and I probably won't live to see it regrown.

I just smile and nod and ask her if she can book a flight and visit as soon as she can.

* * *

><p><em>Because of you<em>

* * *

><p>The doctors say they never expected the cancer to progress this fast.<p>

I don't tell them that's because I'm not even trying to fight it off.

I don't tell them I've given up.

* * *

><p><em>Lead me through the fire<em>

* * *

><p>I tell Amber as I pick her up from the airport.<p>

She doesn't take it too well.

* * *

><p><em>All is lost<em>

_Won't prevail_

* * *

><p>I'm confined to the hospital bed in September.<p>

Amber doesn't leave my side.

* * *

><p><em>Why are you holding on…?<em>

_We were always doomed to fall_

* * *

><p>"<em>Why are you still here?"<em> The doctors ask: they don't say it straight to my face but I know they're still thinking it.

I don't know either.

What am I waiting for?

* * *

><p><em>Here with you<em>

* * *

><p>She called <em>him<em>.

He enters my room quietly, sitting down on Amber's chair by the bed. I turn to look at him.

He doesn't look so good.

He's thin and unshaven and his eyes are blotchy.

* * *

><p><em>I Will<em>

_Try_

_To fix you…_

* * *

><p>He takes my hand and smiles sadly.<p>

I can't help it.

I smile sadly at him back.

* * *

><p><em>You're not alone<em>

_Together we stand_

_I'll be by your side_

_You know I'll take your hand_

* * *

><p>Maybe this is what I was waiting for.<p>

* * *

><p><em>This is my temporary home,<em>

_ This isn't where I belong_

_Windows and rooms_

_That I'm passing through_

_This is just a stop_

_A stop to where_

_I'm going_

_I'm not afraid_

_Because _

_I know…_

_This is my…_

_Temporary home_

* * *

><p>I close my eyes and I let go.<p> 


End file.
